Why So Long?

It's been more than a month that we had a sleepover.
So this time we are all ecstatic with joy to be "spending the night" together.
So as we are on each other (now now, ease on imagination) fighting, pushing and of course "pillow-fighting", one my friend's nails scratched, dug and uprooted the scales of my skin.

Which brings me to think about, what purpose exactly do long nails serve?

A friend of mine once mentioned "It keeps me from biting them,since they are long" (or since they are comparatively dirty?). Now even for the most hygienic person keeping nails 100% bacteria free is completely impossible or keeping them cleaner than short ones.

So you do end up masticating germs.

So next time maybe you wouldn't want to wince at a nose-booger-eater since obviously his/her germ intake is WAY less than yours' (long nail keepers cum biters).

Well long nails can be put to use for many chores, like secondary option for when you can't find that damned bottle opener (secondary in case you don't brush too often to have good teeth and tertiary if otherwise).

OR

Scratch the hell out of your boyfriend who cheated on you with that 'bitch' you always were despised of.(Although I wouldn't mind a kick in the balls as remembrance either)

And some of the following ones which could be possibly possible.

Alternative Music: Nails scratching on a black board. The screeching voice of a metal singer isn't irritating anymore now is it?

Extendibles: When that remote is just one cm away and all that you need are? Long nails!

Piercing: This I is swear is true. Nail piercing. Apparently, it's the new "it" thing .__.

Excuses: Long nails. More fragile. Less work.

Storage: For those who claim they have "sanitized" nails use 'em to store your snacks.

Writing Instrument: Remember the times of feather-in-ink-dipped pens? Start a new trend.

Fashion: Tattoo on 'em. In case it's your ex-Boyfriend's/girlfriend's(yes, guys too keep long nails! sometimes with nail paint!) name, cut 'em off(At least that would help get rid off those dragon paws).

Cooking: When you're making that "baingan ka bharta" and you need to poke the knife into the Brinjal(Eggplant). Well, you have 10 knifes with you now(Yea, they are that sharp in case you did not know). But, please do not feed the "bharta" to anyone else but yourself.

Luscious Hair: Finger combing. An alternative to a comb but make sure you know how to deal with the dandruff that will be stuck in you "clean" nails.(Just like bacteria, dandruff is never 100% absent)

Guinness World Record: Every stupid act will have this one as a reason.



P.S: Just cut those smutty long nails off or keep them far far away from those who are positively hygienic. 




   

Girls, Are Biased

Yeah. It's a confession.

(Malodorous, shaggy guy, half-drooling after seeing a pretty girl)
Smelly guy: You look beautiful.
Irked out girl: Get lost! you moron! 

(Cute/hot guy. Hot clothes on hot bod ooo la la)

Hot guy: You look pretty in that dress.

Bewitched girl(OMG!): less talk more kiss!

Now, before you get all finger-pointy-ha ha on me, give it a thought. Would you be welcoming or willing to be cordial with someone who is in a shape worse than a chicken-pox ridden or a jaundice ridden patient?

Of course, I never mentioned that the 'straight-out-of-ed,edd and eddy neighborhood' guy looks less cute or more ugly, but it is difficult to look past a repulsive exterior.

Presentation counts.

Mind you, this whole situation applies to guys too. They wouldn't want to approach a girl who isn't well dressed or well groomed(Now boobs, is an altogether different situation/aspect).

But, that doesn't mean that you get all groomed up and go Johnny Bravo on girls and expect them to be impressed. But a little bit of hair combing(ok, finger combing), a little bit of nail cutting really does go a long way.

A shabby guy in my college has a severe case of ill-maintained feet. Even worse than the bunion ridden ones of Posh! It's not like there is any need for pedicure treatments but just cutting the nails would do the job too. It isn't everything that is needed to pull off an impressive personality, but makes it somewhat easier. 

After all what are the chances that you would get a job pulling off a sloppy look no matter how intelligent you are?

Although, it could work in our Mumbai trains where maybe people would give you a breathable space when you're all smelly hair and yucky clothes. But then again, they might not and while you're stuck in the worst possible travelling vehicle, you have to tolerate your own stink and of course of those around you.(Its like a thousand people in a room, even if you do open the windows, how the hell is air suppose to enter!)

So suit up 'cause don't you still believe that beauty would fall for a smelly hairy beast!